Civility Pledge and other resources
Being a Civil Voice in Uncivil Times
Indeed, the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot would say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’ that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear would say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,’ that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? ... As it is, there are many members, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’ ... If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it. ~ I Corinthians 12:14-26
While public discussion of political issues has the potential to bring out the best in us – by surfacing creative new ideas or developing effective problem-solving strategies – more often than not in our public dialogue about the issues of the day, the opposite seems to be happening. Whether around the office water cooler or the extended family dinner table, reasoned conversation is taking a back seat to personal attacks and replayed sound bites. Because we avoid these conversations, we miss out on deeper understanding.
As people of faith participating in the public square, we are called to a higher standard of engagement and interaction with our neighbors – even and perhaps especially those with whom we may disagree on an issue. Our faith provides us with spiritual resources to take the conversation to a different level. We can choose respect and hope over animosity and bitterness. We can choose to listen and learn rather than attack and insult. We can choose to have civic discussions in civil tones.
We do not have to avoid the hard issues. We can prepare ourselves for a better conversation by thinking about some of the following ideas to shape your conversation on difficult and emotion-filled issues of the day.
Show Respect: Rather than trying to “win” a debate with your arguments, judge your success by how well you demonstrate respect for other people and for the insights or interesting challenges arise for you. Stay away from insults and personal attacks, and keep trying to return to the substance of the issue. The more respect you show for someone else’s opinions, the more reason they have to respect yours.
Listen: One of the best ways to show respect is to listen. Focus on what the other person is saying, rather than focusing on what you are going to say next. Ask yourself, “What are they trying to express?” “What is important to them?” “Where do we agree?”
Seek Understanding: Try to understand the context from which other people are speaking – ask yourself why they see things the way they do. Ask open-ended questions that invite others to say more about why they believe what they believe.
Share Your Own Views Well: Put thought and energy into articulating your own views clearly and concisely. What do you believe and why? Statistics can be helpful, but often sharing your personal stories is most effective. Claim your own opinions by using “I” statements, such as “I believe ...” and “In my experience ...” Try to avoid exaggeration or the use of sound bites or slogans – use your own words.
Tips for Faithful and Respectful Discussion on the Issues
- Realize that the Holy Spirit is present and active in the conversation and has given each participant a part of the truth you are seeking to discern.
- Follow the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you – even when you disagree with them.
- State what you think you heard someone say and ask for clarification before responding, in an effort to make sure to understand each other.
- Speak honestly about your thoughts and feelings. Share personal experiences to help others more fully understand your concerns and perspectives on the issues. Conversations can be passionate and still be respectful, civil and constructive.
- Speak for yourself, rather than as a member of a group. Use “I” statements rather than “You” statements.
- Focus on ideas and suggestions instead of questioning people’s motives, intelligence or integrity.
- Look for and lift up points of agreement, as well as disagreement.
- Create space for everyone’s concerns to be spoken, even when they disagree.
- Keep an open mind and heart. You may not hear if you judge too quickly.
Our Faith Our Vote Civility Pledge
I believe our communities, our country and our world are stronger and safer and when we treat each other with respect. I believe that my voice is important, and I believe that listening to the voices of others is important for a healthy, vibrant democratic process. I believe that insulting, attacking or demonizing people with whom we disagree is unproductive and unacceptable. As individuals and as community, we can and should do better.
As a person of faith, I pledge to recognize my responsibility for supporting a free, fair and respectful democratic process, and I pledge to do my part.
I commit to honoring my own voice and the voice of others. I commit to educating myself and others about the issues. I commit to expressing myself responsibly, to seek to learn from different perspectives, to always offer respect to others, and to challenge hurtful, disrespectful behavior when I can.
Links to Additional Resources on Civility